Personality Dialysis
by The Letter Z
Summary: James Potter is usually seen as arrogant, but what if there was more to James? Much more than anyone would suspect? Come with Cameron, an innocent 1st year, as she sits back and plays therapist to James as he rants about the past he hoped to forget...
1. Transparent

_**AN: this is an**_**_ experimental story that I'm attempting to try...it's odd, believe me, but hopefully it'll go somewhere...and hopefully I'll be able to get a chapter out per week. If you have any ideas or like it or think it totally sucks, feel free to review because even i am a little skeptical of this one...hope you like it!_**

**_Brought to you by: The Letter Z _**

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People are never as transparent as they seem. They are more like onions, layers upon layers upon even more layers. No one ever is as simple as they seem. There's always some hidden layer beneath what you think you know. Even those people you know closest may have hidden layers artificially created to keep the world at a distance.

One person, over the course of his rather short life, had created a webbed tapestry of layers to keep himself at a distance from the world around him. From the moment he was born up until the day that he died, this man had such a spun such a devious web that he wasn't even sure who he was. It was all a blur.

Our story of the complicated, twisted tapestry that is James Potter begins truly on his sixth birthday when a muggle moving van pulled up to his house, but, where's the fun in that? So, we start this story September 1st, 1977, the first day of James Potter's 7th year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

_Standing in front of himself in a pale yellow dress with a matching ribbon in her hair was one of the prettiest girls six year old James Potter had ever seen in his life. Her brown eyes were shining with excitement and her short, caramel hair was tied back into two pigtails. _

_James smiled and began to run towards her, calling out her name. But with every step he took, the ground seemed to stretch so he made no progress what so ever. _

_A little challenge had never stopped James Potter before, so he sped up. With each new speed he reached, James felt as if he was aging. Soon, it wasn't the small, scrawny six year old running towards her. No, it was the tall, muscular, seventeen year old James Potter, getting closer, and closer._

_The girl in front of him suddenly turned towards him and smiled when she saw that he was heading towards him. She waved, "James! James I'm over here!" _

_This encouraged James to speed up even more, and the ground was no longer stretching, he was gaining on her!_

_But then, just as he reached out for her hand, she disappeared. James looked around in confusion, only to find himself in a cemetery. What was he doing there?_

"James!" a commanding voice made James open his eyes just as someone slapped his cheek.

James looked up and saw a blurry figure standing over him. He squinted his eyes, but still could not make out the person. The person had black hair falling over his face and tan skin. So, he took a wild guess, "Padfoot?"

"Yeah, and I have some bad news," Sirius did not sound too happy about it. "You broke your glasses when you fell."

Slowly, James sat up. "When did I fall?"

"Your sleep." Sirius replied. There was something in his voice that alerted James. Sirius made it sound like James didn't sleep so peacefully, as if it wasn't just a sleep but a trance.

James put his hand out and Sirius placed the broken glasses in his best friend's hand and James laughed. He then held out his other hand, "Wand?"

Sirius placed the wand in his hand and watched as James preformed a charm and the glasses repaired themselves. Sirius laughed uneasily, "I forgot about that charm."

"Are you a wizard or what?" James laughed and looked at his surroundings. No longer was he in the freedom of his house, but instead he was in the Head's compartment of the Hogwarts express, heading for his seventh and final year at Hogwarts.

Sitting in the corner of the compartment was Head Girl, Lily Evans. She had a book in front of her face, but her emerald eyes weren't moving. They were focused on the bottom of the page. The same page she had been on since James Potter started to shift in his sleep. The same page she had been on when James Potter fell off of his bench. The very same page she had been on when James Potter began to sweat and squirm and mutter things under his breath.

Usually, the two would not be in a compartment together, heck, Lily could barely stand to be in the same room as Potter. He had taken a liking to asking her out ever since their fourth year in a rather boring lesson during divination. But now, Dumbledore, the school's esteemed headmaster, had assigned them the duties of Head Boy and Girl, the most powerful positions a student could hold in the entire school. The two now were forced to get along or else lose their positions.

And now they were sitting in the Head's compartment with James' three best friends, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin; and two of Lily's best friends, Lola Johnson and Vanessa Davis who was more commonly known as Van.

Just before James had started to shift around in his seat, Remus, Lola, Van and Peter had all dispersed, leaving only Sirius and Lily to witness his nightmare. Lily was actually quite tempted to ask Sirius if James had these nightmares before, but by the scared look on Sirius' face, she realized that this was probably the first time. Or at least the first time to Sirius' knowledge.

"James," Sirius looked at his friend, slightly frightened. "What was that about?"

James looked up at his best friend, "What was what about?"

Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. Unless it was about quidditch, school, girls, or other impersonal things, James didn't want to talk about it. He didn't talk about the box of keepsakes the Gryffindor Chaser kept under his bed, or the necklace he wore around his neck. Things that were too person didn't go hand in hand with James.

"Well, the whole," Sirius thought of the best way to phrase this, "Well-I mean, you see-"

"Potter, what was the whole convulsing and night sweats about?" Lily Evans finally came out of her corner, "What were you murmuring under your breath?"

James looked up and met her emerald eyes with his own hazel, she actually looked scared. "What are you talking about?"

Both Lily and Sirius stared at the boy in disbelief. Mere moments ago he was sweating as if running a marathon, murmuring words so fast as if it was his last conversation with someone. And now, here he was without a clue in the world.

"You were just on the floor," Lily's voice was slightly strangled, "You seemed worried, scared, it was definitely not a nice sleep. You kept saying the same thing over and over again, but we couldn't quite understand what it was. What happened?"

For a few minutes, James thought in silence. He tried to remember his dream, but there was nothing about it that seemed to pop into mind. He could only remember yellow. A pale yellow color. That was it.

"I don't know," James shrugged. "Oh well, if it was something big I'd have remembered it. Hey Evans, you want to be my girlfriend?"

Lily stared at the boy in utter disbelief. He had just had that nightmare, fell on his head, actually had a bruise growing on his forehead, and all he could think about was asking her out. She sighed and went back to her corner with a quiet yet firm, "No."

"Nice timing," Sirius laughed at his best friend, "It's nice to know you're still here."

"And always will be," James replied with his hollow smile. A hollow smile that everyone had gotten used to. It was a smile that lit his whole face, his pearly white teeth showed themselves off, but there was still this hollowness in his hazel eyes. However, he smiled that very smile so many times, it seemed as if that was his natural smile. Even in many pictures of him as a kid, there was that same hollowness of his eyes.

But one person had begun to pick up on that hollowness in James' eyes every time he asked her out. And this year, she was determined to find out.

Soon the train ride was over and our main subject, James Potter, could be found spacing out while the many first years were standing in fear, not knowing anything about this foreign place.

However, seeing James Potter space out during a feast was not uncommon. No, for James the best time to think was when eating for no one wanted to talk, just eat. Plus, if you hid in your room they always suspected something was wrong. For some reason, being in plain sight made people ignore the person behind the hallow smile.

"Ackles, Cameron." McGonagall called out, her voice strong and firm.

A small girl, one who seemed much to small among all the other first years, stepped forward without fear, but not with confidence. She walked up to the stool as if walking to the dinner table at home. She calmly sat upon the school and looked around.

As if with a magnet, Cameron's bright brown eyes connected with the hazel eyes of James Potter. James, who was not paying attention to the sorting, felt someone staring at him. He twisted and turned until he found his answer in deep, bright brown eyes. He gasped, "What the?"

"What, mate?" James' most loyal best friend, Sirius Black, questioned.

"Huh?" James asked, blissfully unaware of the fact he had spoken.

"James, are you feeling okay?" the caring voice of Remus Lupin joined the conversation. He had always been the most caring and intuitive of James' friends. Unlike the pompous Sirius Black or the quiet Peter Pettigrew, Remus was someone who James could confide somewhat deep feelings in. Remus was someone who could be trusted.

"Fine," James replied as he broke the connection with the girl, who just happened to be sorted into Gryffindor and was now sitting only two people away, "Just a bit of a headache from falling on my head on the train ride here."

Remus thought for a moment, "Maybe you should go see Madame Pomfrey."

"Pomfrey?" James and Sirius both questioned. Sirius then added, "I was so sure all these years her name was Madame Madeline."

"It was," Remus shook his head and rubbed his temples, "Madame Pomfrey is the new healer. We were told about this last year due to the frequency of your visits."

Sirius gave Remus a triumphant grin. He and James, the lead pranksters of the school, had been in to see Madame Madeline a collective total of 113 times in the last year alone. Sirius actually considered himself to be on excellent terms with the matron. "Aw, I'm gonna miss old Madie, she was definitely one in a million."

Remus knew better then to remind Sirius that Madame Madeline hated it when she was referred to as Madie. He also avoided reminding Sirius that the matron hated James and himself with a passion and healed them quickly so they could not stay around and annoy her all day.

Soon, all of the first years were sorted, and in answer to many students' grumbling stomachs, Headmaster Dumbledore avoided a long speech, just as he did every year, and the tables were instantly filled with food.

"Ok Prongs, I have the perfect prank to pull on the Slytherins tomorrow morning. You see…" Sirius Black began to plot, occasionally taking in large quantities of food at an alarmingly fast rate.

However, James, or Prongs as he was known to his friends, was not paying the slightest bit of attention to his friends. Instead, the teen had focused his attention a few students down where Lily Evans was talking with her two best friends.

"So Lils, looking forward to a year as Head Girl?" Lily's petite, blonde friend, Lola, questioned.

Lily sighed, "At first I was, but I don't know how I'm going to get through this year without someone to rely on. I mean, sure Potter can hold together a quidditch team, but this school is far more complex then seven people."

Lola laughed at Lily's small comparison, but Van, who was one of the seven people on the Gryffindor House Team didn't find it quite so entertaining. "Lily, this year won't be as bad as you think. When he puts his mind to it, James Potter can actually pull through amazingly."

James smiled at this comment. He had always liked Van, along with fifth year Jason Wilson, the three were amazing chasers. Some teachers even reported that no other set of chasers were as exquisite as the Gryffindor Trio.

"I know, I know," Lily rolled her eyes, "But this isn't some stupid sport, this is an institution of learning!"

Van glared at her best friend. For Van, life was eating, breathing, drinking, and quidditch. Nothing more, nothing less. Her father had been a seeker for the Chudley Cannons and his father was keeper for Puddlemore United. Now, seeing as Van was an only child, she had taken it upon herself to make the national league. "Lily, sometimes you just say the wrong thing. Learn to think before you speak."

James then watched as Van got up and left the Great Hall. Some people wondered if she wasn't feeling good or had some type of sudden emergency for no one ever just got up and left the Welcoming Feast. However, the other part of the population knew she had stomped off due to Lily. Both were fierce and stubborn. Sometimes too stubborn for their own good.

"So James, what do you think?" Sirius asked his friend.

James snapped back into his reality, or at least attempted to. No matter how hard he tried to push it to the back of his mind, he couldn't get the notion of Lily thinking of him as a complete and inconsiderate prat. Sure he joked off and asked her out occasionally, but he'd rather be doing that then being depressed at how badly he thought his life turned out.

"Well?" Sirius demanded a reply. He was _the_ Sirius Black. He was not to be ignored by anybody.

"I think that it's a completely brilliant plan." James lied. "But I don't think we should do it tomorrow, or at least I won't be able to."

Sirius looked at his best friend in complete shock. He thought he was talking to James Potter, the boy who was unconscious for a week, got up, and two minutes later was down in the Slytherin common room pranking a few kids a few years older then himself. Suddenly, Sirius felt as if he was completely wrong.

"What do you mean?" Sirius demanded an answer, "We always prank the Slytherins the morning back. It's tradition! Like some unwritten law or something."

"That was before I was Head Boy," James stated defiantly, and mentally added, _before I had to reprove myself to the world._

"But James, look at Snivellous!" Sirius pointed to the greasy haired kid at the end of the hall, "He's asking for it!"

"Nobody asks to be picked on." James sighed and then stood up. Without another word to his dumbstruck friends, James left the Great Hall and decided to go look for his favorite chaser, Van Davis.

Ask any pupil in Hogwarts and they'll tell you the Marauders were amazing at finding whomever they want, whenever they want. No one knows how, but when a Marauder was looking for you, they were going to find you, it was inevitable.

And it was with these talents in which James found Van sitting against a wall in some random hallway, curled into a small ball.

"Davis, good to see you." James smiled as he sat down next to the blonde.

She sighed, "Hey Potter, please tell me you haven't come here to tell me we've got practice tomorrow evening."

James laughed, "Nope, sorry to get your hopes up. But let's not talk quidditch, let's talk about what ever you want to talk about."

Van looked up at James with a suspicious glance. What game was this boy playing at. "Well, I think I prefer tampons to pads, but I'm not sure."

Sadly, Van's plan backfired when James asked, "What are tampons and what kind of pads?"

"Never mind," Van blushed, "I was just yanking your chain." She then let out a long yawn, "Why do people who don't like quidditch always try to make you feel bad for playing it yourself?"

For a small moment, James considered the question. However, no one had ever made him feel bad for playing quidditch. Instead they did the opposite. They praised him and put him on a pedestal. "Jealousy?"

The girl sighed, "I doubt that."

"How about the fact that they just don't get that thrill? They've never dodged a bludger on the way to scoring a goal. Never had they dreamed of being in a trio where you feel like you're one complete person, not three separate people on three separate broomsticks. Those people have never felt the rush of excitement we get when we throw the quaffle through the post and hear the roar of the crowd."

Van looked at James with a new found respect. People had told her time and time again what being on a broom felt like. They told her of how great it was to play for a team. But no one had ever made it seem so real, had so much emotion in their voice.

"Thank you." She smiled as she stood up. She then offered her hand to James, who in turn took it with a smile on his own face.

"For what?" He asked and began to lead her towards the Gryffindor common room.

Van looked at him, and then turned away, "For making me believe in the spirit of quidditch."

James furrowed his brow. He hadn't thought he said that much, but apparently it mattered to her so he let it slide. It wasn't until they reached the Fat Lady that James had noticed the two had moved at all.

Van looked at James expectantly and waited for him to say the password. However, it seemed as if the Head Boy was in another world. His eyes were glazed over and his mouth slightly open.

"James, password?" Van questioned.

James snapped out of whatever trance he was in and said, "Cornish Pixie."

The portrait of the Fat Lady slowly swung open to reveal an empty common room. The two seventh years entered and sat down on the couches. "So James, excited to be Head Boy?"

_No._

That was James immediate reply, yet, he knew he couldn't say it out loud. So, instead, he waited for a fake answer to drift into his mind, "Yep, this year is going to be totally wicked. Sirius has even got our first prank of the year planned out."

"Please tell me it's on the Slytherins and not on me." Van joked. James had actually never pranked her since she joined the quidditch team, but he had no problem with pranking Lily or Lola.

"Course it's on the Slytherins," James laughed. "They've always been the targets of our first prank of the year. If we broke that tradition, then the pranking tradition would be useless."

Van laughed just as the portrait hole opened, revealing Lily Evans and Remus Lupin, both of whom were showing the first years to the common room.

"Guys are to the right, girls to the left," Lily informed them. "And just so you know, boys are not allowed in the girls dormitories."

"Does that mean the girls are allowed in the boys dorms?" a small, slightly high pitched voice came from the group of kids.

Lily looked to Remus, not sure if she should tell kids that, but Remus just laughed, "Yes, girls are allowed in the boys' dorms but I wouldn't recommend you go there. It's like one giant barn, random smells and you might get attacked by mold."

A small chorus of 'ewws' came from the girls while the guys laughed. One blonde boy even gave another blonde boy a high five. James and Van just watched with amused smiles on their faces. What they'd give to be so young and so naïve.

Once all the first years were settled in the common room or in their respective dorms, Lily Evans turned on her best friend and her worst enemy. "Van," or course she would just ignore James, "I'm sorry."

"For?" Van asked, not looking at Lily but instead at the fireplace behind the redhead.

"Belittling quidditch." Lily replied, "I'm sorry but when I don't talk to you over the summer I tend to forget how important quidditch is to you."

Van smiled and said, "Ok, I forgive you."

"Good," Lily smiled, "now, I'd love to stay here longer and compliment you on your hair, but Potter and I are supposed to meet Headmaster Dumbledore outside the Great Hall for our room assignments."

With a small groan, James stood up and smiled towards Lily, "Lead the way, Mademoiselle."

Lily gave James a suspicious eyebrow, but went off ahead of him none the less. Soon, the two found themselves watching the Headmaster walk away after explaining where the Head Dorms were and the password.

"Are you coming, Potter?" Lily asked after minutes later, James had not moved a muscle.

"I will," James replied expressionlessly.

After waiting a few minutes, Lily rolled her eyes and grabbed James' forearm. The boy, who was considerably larger then Lily, flinched and pulled his arm back. Lily looked confused, "Did I hurt you?"

"No," James replied immediately as he kneaded his wrist. "Just a bruise from over the summer."

"Oh, quidditch?" Lily attempted to start a conversation as the two walked to the sixth floor and began to look for a painting of a rhinoceros.

"No," James replied truthfully, but regretted it seconds later. After a moment of silence he said, "I fell off a swing and landed on a rock."

Lily nodded as if she believed his story, but there was something about it that made it beyond her belief. Somehow, the thought of smug, seventeen years old James Potter even going near a swing set seemed unlikely.

After that, James quickly ran down the corridors, found the portrait of a rhinoceros and went in after barely waving towards Lily to alert her where the dorms were. Lily scrunched her eyebrows and followed him in, but wasn't able to even say goodnight for James had already hid himself in his personal dormitory.


	2. Squirt

**A/N: I could come up with billions of excuses on why I haven't updated in a while that are along the lines of I lost my stick...the play started...and then my parents wouldn't stop stealing my laptop, but I know you don't want to hear them so just be happy I now have 2 weeks off school so I should hopefully update a lot!**

James Potter sat back and, for the first time in his life, watched as his friends prank the Slytherins. Sure, there was always a part of him that knew some of the Marauders' pranks were cruel, but they always tried their best to prank those who deserved it. There was a sensation in his stomach that made him miss the feeling of mischief.

As he watched the Slytherins attempt to stand up only to find they were stuck to the benches, some standing up so quickly that their pants ripped and their underwear was on display to the whole school. James couldn't help but turn to his three best friends, all who had a look of pride stamped on their faces.

No one besides them knew that was why they were friends. No one else understood that no matter how different the four were, they all had the deep glee that came only from pranks. If they were four rule abiding boys, never in a million years would Remus the bookworm, Peter the awkward one, Sirius the womanizer, and James the quidditch fanatic be friends. Sure Sirius and James were the perfect fit, but it was their love of pranks and mischief that brought the four together and kept them together.

Before a teacher or even the Headmaster walked over to the Marauders, resident Head Girl, Lily Evans, felt she had the duty to scold them until a teacher did arrive. So, once she reached them, she glared, "That wasn't the most mature thing to do, now was it, Potter?"

"I didn't do it," James protested, but knew it was rather worthless for he knew he was the trouble maker of the school. He was immature, he was a prat, prankster king, of course James was at fault. 

Lily looked totally like James had just confessed he was her mother. "Wow Potter, how thick do you think I am?"

"I think you're a lot of things," James pointed out in his usual, carefree manner for he saw McGonagall approaching them, "But definitely not thick."

McGonagall then reached the five seventh years and with a look of approval, she turned to Lily, "Thank you Miss Evans, I can take it from here." She then turned towards the Marauders and the look of approval immediately was replaced by a scowl, "You four, follow me."

As the four followed the deputy headmistress out of the Great Hall like ducklings, Sirius couldn't help but blow kisses at some of his female admirers with a few winks to others. Remus, who was right behind Sirius, looked as if he was just walking to his next class, occasionally laughing at his friend's antics. Next in line, Peter was just staring at his shoes, looking rather bored. And finally, bringing up the rear was a quiet, awkward James. He looked so sad, so depressed, but mostly worried.

Once the four were seated in the four seats in front of McGonagall's desk, Sirius felt the need to talk. "You know something, Professor? I love what you've done with the place since our first year. Remember way back when to the time when you only had two chairs, not four?"

"Oh yes, I remember," the professor replied, "But come your second year I knew I couldn't sit here yelling while you and Mr. Potter gallivanted around my room, I didn't think it was fair to Mr. Pettigrew and Mr. Lupin."

"Back in the good old days." Sirius laughed. He always loved to hold a conversation with McGonagall, she was the only teacher who'd reply to his smartass remarks instead of immediately taking away house points. This could have been because she was Head of his house or because she liked a witty conversation. Sirius liked to believe it was the latter.

"Anyways," She sternly diverted the conversation, "This seems like almost a tradition, seeing you boys here while I could be eating breakfast with my colleagues. Lucky for you, I already ate. Now, you four, for tradition's sake, all have a week of detention and I'll be taking five points away for each of you. Go to class, except you Mr. Potter, I'd like to have a word with you."

Remus and Peter both stood up, but Sirius made no sudden move. McGonagall looked at the boy expectantly, but he didn't budge. The room was silent for a moment, but Sirius Black being who he was felt as if he should be the one to break it, "James had no part in it, Professor."

"Mr. Black, please leave." McGonagall demanded in a stern yet not too demanding voice, "Now."

"But professor, James had no part in it." Sirius defended. 

"Mr. Black, if I were to believe you I'd be made a fool of. Now leave before I add to your sentence." McGonagall said as she stood up. 

"Professor," Remus Lupin reentered the room. She glared, but he remained unfazed, "There's a girl here, she says she, and these are her exact words, 'have information regarding that tall guy with messy hair', I figured that it was James."

Even though it was against McGonagall's better judgment, she let Remus bring the girl in. To her surprise, it wasn't some second year or a fangirl of the boys, but instead it was a small first year with big, innocent brown eyes and a red and gold ribbon holding her hair back.

"Hi ma'am, my name is Cameron Ackles and I came to tell you that the boy with funny hair said he wasn't going to do the prank. Besides, he looked far too sad to just have completed a prank." The small girl informed the professor.

McGonagall looked between the new witness and the accused, and then she turned to the rest of them, "You three, out, I'll need to talk to Mr. Potter and Miss Ackles. And yes Mr. Black, you can wait outside and try and listen to our conversation but only for a minute and then you'll have to go to class."

"Thanks, professor," Sirius smiled and shut the door.

McGonagall looked at the two students that were now sitting in front of her. One was a girl who had only been here for a day, knew probably two other first years and that was it. The second was a known prankster, but did not have his usual spark to him. He actually seemed afraid of his punishment. 

And truthfully, James was afraid of losing his badge. Only two times in Hogwarts' history had a Head Boy lost his badge, and if he got his taken away today it would definitely be the shortest reign a Head Boy ever had. He didn't want to be the laughing stock of the school for the rest of his last year there.

"Mr. Potter, what do you have to say for yourself?" McGonagall questioned once the bell signaling to go to classes rang. She was quite interested to hear the answer, but didn't want Sirius Black overhearing it.

"I didn't participate in the prank. Sirius told me about it last night, but I said I couldn't. I am becoming more mellow this year, I am taking these Head Boy duties seriously and believe me, I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my position." James confessed with as much conviction as he could. He honestly would throw a giant fit if he got his badge taken away.

McGonagall looked over the boy, almost forgetting that the first year was there. From the tone of his voice and the pleading in his eyes, she really wanted to believe him. And even though, in her situation no other teacher would believe him, she did, "You're free to go Mr. Potter, no detention, no points taken away, and no probation."

"Thank you professor." James jumped to his feet, ready to run so she couldn't take back her final decision, "Thank you very much."

"Mr. Potter, before you go," McGonagall caught him. However, instead of hearing a lecture on responsibilities or threats of probation, she smiled at him, "Since you don't have DADA this year, can you take Miss Ackles here to the Charms room for her first class with this note so she's excused for her lateness?"

James nodded, the bright smile still on his face, took the letter, and then he led the small girl out into the hall. He looked down at her, she seemed so tall, probably just under 4 feet, while he was pretty tall at just over 6 feet tall. "So, Squirt, have you eaten breakfast yet?"

"Squirt, is that supposed to be me?" She looked up at him. He was rather amused when he looked down and she had an eyebrow raised.

He laughed, "Yep, so answer the question, _Squirt_."

Cameron looked up at him with a confused expression, "I forgot the question."

James laughed, "Have you eaten breakfast yet?" She just shook her head, "Then I think we should take a trip to the kitchens, what do you think?" She shrugged, "You know if you use your words then this conversation would be a lot more interesting."

"I don't want to be a witch." Cameron said, very out of the blue. James looked down at the small girl with pure shock written in his eyes. Who didn't want to have magic in their life? But Cameron didn't notice his expression, she just continued to talk, "I don't like magic. I've heard the bad things and the good things that come from magic, but there always seems to be much more bad then good."

Without a moment's hesitation, James grabbed Cameron's hand and brought her back to McGonagall's office. The professor in question had just begun to walk to her classroom, which was across the hall from her office. "Mr. Potter, what are you doing back? Have you already forgotten where the Charms classroom is?"

James let go of Cameron's hand, walked up to McGonagall and informed her of the views of the magic world the girl had. McGonagall looked at him skeptically, but then he said, "Come on Professor, let me take today to convince her. We both know all she's going to miss today is you guys going over the course, answering questions that students may have, and telling them what to bring to class. I can inform her of all that. So I think it seems perfectly logical for me to show her the good of magic so she doesn't go on hating what is all around her."

"What about your own classes?" McGonagall questioned.

"Are all going to be teachers telling me how important NEWT's are and believe me, I already know that. And then we'll just review what we've learned and I remember most of it." James said in one very quick breath.

And once again, going against her better judgment, McGonagall said, "Alright Potter, you and Miss Ackles are excused from classes for today, but if you get into any trouble, you will both be having a detention."

"You won't regret it, professor." James smiled and once again, ran off with Cameron so McGonagall couldn't take back her decision. 

Cameron, who heard nothing of McGonagall and James' conversation, looked at the Head Boy curiously, "Why are we running?"

James slowed his pace and came to a complete stop only when they reached the Entrance Hall. Needless to say, little Cameron was completely out of breath. "Now what was that?"

"Why," She took a deep breath, "What's" she took another deep breath. "With" she exhaled, "The," one last breath, "run-running?" 

"I didn't quite catch that, what did you say?" James laughed. When she gave him a glare worthy of Lily Evans, James laughed a little more but said, "Joking. We were running so McGonagall couldn't change her mind."

"About what exactly?" The first year began to get suspicious.

"Getting you and me out of class for today." James replied nonchalantly as he led her out on the grounds towards the quidditch pitch.

"Cool!" Cameron smiled as she spun around and then followed James, "But why?"

"You hate magic." James pointed out. He then opened the gate to the pitch with a key only the captains had, and led her out onto the field, "I'm going to spend today showing you that it's not that bad."

"Doubt it." Cameron sighed, she then went into her school bag and pulled out a copy of the Daily Prophet that was all marked up in a lot of green pen and a little bit of pink pen, "The green in this is all the bad things, the pink is all the good. I went through and read every single sentence in every single article and advertisement. As you can see, there's far more green then pink."

James took the newspaper from her as she put her stuff down on a bench and began to look about the pitch. He was surprised she had put a lot of thought into highlighting the newspaper. And no matter what the main article was about, each Auror was underlined in pink and each time the minister was mentioned, his name was green.

He then looked up and spotted Cameron using her sweatshirt to climb up one of the posts. Instead of doing the mature thing which was to scold her until she came down, he transfigured a few nearby rocks into overstuffed mattresses and placed them all around the base of the post. He then sat back and flipped through the newspaper.

"James, why do people murder people?" Cameron asked, she was now standing right in front of him.

Once he looked up from the newspaper, James saw that it was a genuine question as if she knew someone who was murdered. He didn't know exactly what to say, but signaled for her to sit down, "Well, to tell you the truth, I don't know. I've never had the urge to murder someone, and I've never asked a murderer why he killed people."

"You know what's really stupid about magic?" Cameron suddenly changed the subject, or at least James thought she had, "You can break into someone's house using _Alohamora_ and then all you have to say are two more words and bam! You've committed a murder and no one can pin it on you."

"Well," James thought for a moment, "That's why you've got to be smarter then any murderer. You've got to use the best protection charms that you can find."

"But what about Muggles?" Cameron questioned. "They don't even know magic exists. Therefore Voldemort knows they're easy targets. I mean, its like stepping on a line of ants, they don't know it's coming and there's no way to stop it. Come to think of it, Voldemort probably goes after them for that very reason, they're beyond easy to kill; a defenseless deer in the meadow."

"Well-" James stopped. "You see-" and now he found he couldn't think of anything else to say. Her hypothesis made so much sense, why hadn't anyone else thought about it before? "Look, Squirt, I'm not going to lie to you or even try to come up with an answer, but I can tell you two things. One, you should really look into being an Auror when you grow up. And two, things may get bad, really bad, but you can't let them make you cynical. Things in the world aren't great, but things in your world can be great if you just remember there are always good things in life."

She sighed and stood up, "Ok, go."

"What now?"

"You said you'd prove to me what's so good about magic." Cameron reminded him, "So start convincing."

James got to his feet and then led her over to the broom shed, "I'm going to share with you the most amazing feeling ever that can only come with the help of magic."

"In a wooden, outdoor closet?" She looked up at him skeptically.

"No, in the broom shed." James informed her as he opened the shed and pulled out two brooms. One was his own Silver Arrow while the second was Sirius' Silver Arrow. "Have you ever been on a broom?"

"No, I haven't had the need to plummet to my death." She retorted nonchalantly.

The seventh year laughed at the much younger girl. "With me here with you, you won't be plummeting to your death."

"So you say."

James let out an exasperated sigh, "Just follow me and stop being such a wiseass."

"It's not nice to curse in front of eleven year olds." Cameron pointed out. When James turned around to glare at her, she had a playful smirk on her face. It reminded James of his own smirk from pictures he'd seen.

"Just get on the broom." James laughed and flew into the air. Mere seconds later, without hesitation, Cameron followed him. "Have you ever ridden a broom before?" She shook her head, "Good, I'll go easy on you."

Soon, the two were flying not over the stadium but the castle at a slow, mellow pace. And then, James decided they'd been in the air long enough, so he landed atop the astronomy tower. Cameron had followed with no difficulty at all.

"James." Cameron started once they were content, "What's an Auror?"

James almost dropped the broomsticks he was carrying. "You've got to be kidding me!" But by the blank expression on her face, James knew she was being truthful. "They're like Policemen but for the magical world." Once she comprehended that, James couldn't help but ask, "Are you a muggleborn?"

Cameron looked up at him and shrugged, "Maybe. But that's my business, not yours. If I'm going to tell you, I want some information for myself."

"Like?" James questioned.

"Not sure yet." She shrugged with a smile, "I'll need to think about it." After a silence in which the two had settled for staring up into the blank sky while laying atop the tower, Cameron decided to voice her thoughts, "I've heard rumors of you, James Potter. But I think they were lies." James sat up and looked at her funnily, but she ignored his look and continued, "You don't seem like an arrogant, conceded, big headed prat."

"Thanks." James replied truthfully, "To them I seem like that."

"Them?" Cameron inquired.

James sighed, "Students. It's weird, it's just-"

"Potter!" a familiar voice howled, "You're supposed to be in class! And who is that you're fooling around with?"

Then, before James had time to respond, he heard an entertained voice from next to him say, "I'm pretty sure that's illegal."

"Me, too." James smiled at the kid.

"Potter, really?" Lily let out an annoyed sigh, "You kidnapped a little kid from classes?"

"Who said I kidnapped her?" James growled at the redhead.

"Well-"

"Why are you so mean to James?" Cameron interrupted. But then when she got a chastising look from James, she said, "I mean, he got permission from McGonagall to try and show me what is so good about magic."

Lily looked at Cameron with a rather confused look, but then just let it go. "Potter, Dumbledore wants to see us, now."

James looked over from one girl to the other. He then stood up, helped Cameron to her feet, and turned to Lily, "Lead the way."

With a slight growl, Lily turned and then headed towards the Headmaster's office. Close behind was James who in turn was holding Cameron's hand.

The three then found themselves sitting in front of the Headmaster's desk. Lily and Cameron in chairs, and James sitting on the arm of Cameron's chair.

"Miss Ackles!" Dumbledore was quite surprised to find the first year there when he only asked for the Head kids, "May I ask what you are doing here and why you're not in class?"

"She's here with me." James answered, "I told McGonagall I wouldn't let her out of my sight because I'm busy trying to convince her that magic isn't all bad like the Daily Prophet makes it out to be." 

Dumbledore smiled at the first year, slightly forgetting that he had ordered a Head's meeting, "You know, not everything in the Daily Prophet is bad."

"Nor is all of it true." Cameron pointed out. "Besides, most of it is bad, I can prove it."

She then went to pull out her newspaper, but James stopped her, "You know what? Why don't you go back to the Gryffindor Common Room, I'll come get you once this is done." Cameron just nodded. "Do you remember how to get back?" She shook her head. "Ok then, wait outside the office, alright?"

"Yes, sir!" Cameron jumped out of the chair with a mock salute. "I'll be waiting." And like that she was gone.

Dumbledore watched in amusement as she left the room. He then looked at his two head kids; Lily was looking at James in utter confusion while James was at the top of the stairs watching the small girl take a seat and making sure she'd be safe.

The Headmaster then cleared his throat and James returned to his seat. "Now, I know you're both wondering why I have called you here. I am here to inform you why I have chosen each of you for the spots you have newly acquired. Now, usually I keep my reasons for choosing whom I choose a secret, but I think you two really should know the true reason for my actions."

James sent Lily a glare when he heard her murmur, "I know why I'm Head Girl. The real question is why _he_ isHead Boy."

"Now, Miss Evans," Dumbledore continued oblivious to her comment, "I have chosen you for this spot because you like to see the best in everyone. You are smart, sophisticated, and always think logically." He then turned towards the Head Boy, "As for you, Ms. Potter, you are intelligent, quick thinking, loyal, and brave. There is no one here at Hogwarts with your persistence or your abilities. You can lighten up even the darkest situations."

Dumbledore then sat quietly for a moment to let his facts sink in. Lily was ecstatic. Sure, hearing she was brilliant from teachers and students was nice, but this was the Headmaster! That was something else.

However, James frowned at the news. Even the Headmaster thought him to be just an incompetent prankster. Sure he seemed that way at times, but it wasn't him. He was much different, the real James Potter who no one would be able to pick from a crowd.

"Now, I know you're still wondering about all this," Dumbledore continued, "But I have chosen to tell you for dark times lie ahead of us. Dark, sinister plots are being planned even as we speak. Bad things, as Miss Ackles pointed out, are happening. Bad things are brewing and we need only the best to take care if I should ever have an absence."

"Professor, do you think a war's brewing?" Lily asked with wide eyes. Sure her and her friends had talked about an oncoming wizard war, but for Dumbledore to say so was a whole other ballgame. 

"Miss Evans, for the moment, I can't be positive that one is, but I'm positive something's starting." Dumbledore admitted solemnly. "Now, Miss Evans, run along to class. As for you Mr. Potter, good luck convincing Miss Ackles that magic is good."

The two Head Kids left with completely different thoughts on their minds. Lily had thoughts of an oncoming war while James could only think how Dumbledore basically insulted him.

Once they reached the main corridor, James laughed when he saw Cameron napping, using her backpack as a pillow. Gently, he woke her up and for some reason, thought he would show her the Head's room.

"Are you sure I'm allowed in?" Cameron asked for the fifteenth time. She stood outside the room refusing to go in for fear of a curse on the room.

"Yes I am." James laughed, "Now hurry up and get your bum in here or I'm going to carry you in like a sack of potatoes."

With a deathly slow pace, Cameron snuck herself into the room. Once she was fully in and saw nothing was going to curse her, she regained her normal pace and began to look around. And once she was bored with the rather plain common room, she made sure James was looking the other way and she snuck into the Head Boy's quarters.

Inside was almost as plain as the common room. His room was very neat, she blamed this on the fact they hadn't been there a full twenty four hours. He also had a total of two photos and absolutely no quidditch posters at all. So, figuring there was nothing else to look at, Cameron walked up to the two pictures expecting to find one of family and one of friends.

Half of her conclusion was right as there was a picture of him and his three best friends from a few years ago on a quidditch pitch. Two of the boys were wrestling, one was reading, and James was just staring up at the sky as if he was dreading something. 

She then turned her attention to the more interesting picture. It was actually half a picture of a stuffed reindeer all decked out for Christmas and a stuffed animal that looked remarkably like Bambi on a swing. To the right of the animals, the picture went on, but it was burnt and the rest of the picture must have dissolved into ash.

"Squirt?" Cameron's investigation of James' room was cut short when he walked in.

"Hi." She smiled innocently. "I wasn't going through your stuff, I was just observing what was in plain sight."

"I see that," James lightly laughed, "But it's lunch time, you want to go grab some grub?"

But then Cameron's curiosity got the better of her, "What's with the picture of the stuffed animals?"

James looked up in slight surprised, but answered, "I used to live in this muggle community when I was born until I was seven or so, I don't remember much besides that was taken at a nearby park."

"Well, I think they're cute." Cameron admitted. She then walked into the common room, grabbed her stuff and said, "Come on, let's go grab some grub!"


	3. New Guy

For the next month, things in the Hogwarts castle were definitely different from the previous six years

For the next month, things in the Hogwarts castle were definitely different from the previous six years. Sure, kids were still wildly running around the corridors, Ravenclaws and a few kids from other houses were in the library, Sirius still hated Slytherins and Slytherins still picked on Mudbloods. However, people who usually were able to point out James Potter's pranks or came to watch his fights with Slytherins were disappointed to find James didn't prank nor did he fight.

But they did notice James' sudden friendship with the small, cute Gryffindor first year who looked as if she was an angel of pure innocence. She seemed to be accepted by the rest of the Marauders with opened arms, but she also had her group of first year friends, all Gryffindor, all guys, all who would tag along with her like a protective force whenever she wasn't in the same room as the Marauders.

Also, James' spirits about being Head Boy seemed to cheer up. Not yet had he got one detention nor had he been taken to the hospital wing during the aftermath of a fight. The teachers and prefects had begun to come around to the idea that James Potter had changed for the better. James Potter had changed for good.

"I don't get it." Sirius Black confided in his two friends one night while James was out patrolling the corridors, "Where is my friend?"

"Patrolling." Peter Pettigrew replied with a duh quality in his voice.

Sirius shot the smaller boy a glare, "That guy down there patrolling is _not_ James. I've known the guy since that first day of Hogwarts and this year, he's different. No pranks, no flirting, and he don't even make sarcastic remarks under his breath during class!"

Remus Lupin, who had been spacing out from Sirius' rant for the last twenty minutes, began to think over his friend's behavior and could only come to one decision, "Do you think it has to do with the death of his parents?" The two quarreling boys looked at Remus with a look of confusion on their faces, the mature boy rolled his eyes and then continued, "When I went to visit before they died, he was just like he always was in the summer. Now, he's different, do you think that his parents were the cause of this?"

The three boys then sat in a thinking silence for quite some time after that. About half an hour later, Sirius sat up, "Boys, to the Room of Requirement. We need to talk about this where James can't find us."

With a murmur of agreement, Remus and Peter followed their friend down to the common room where they took extra time in being quiet so no one would notice they were leaving. However, someone did.

"Black, Pettigrew, Lupin, freeze." A girl's voice said.

Sirius, who was in the lead, turned around and saw Vanessa Davis, sitting on the couch with a smug expression on her face, and completely ignoring her potions essay. Next to her sat Lola, but she wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to the Marauders.

"Is there something you wanted, Davis?" Sirius questioned.

"Well," She smiled, "You three are sneaking out. I want to know why."

The boys all looked between one another. They couldn't tell some girl their theory on the new, odd James. Sirius then looked over her and said, "Why?"

"Because if you three really are gay then Lily owes me ten Galleons." Van retorted. She then laughed at the shocked expression on their faces, "Joking. And just go, Lily'll be back any second and will kill you if she catches you."

With a sigh of relief, Remus and Peter left without a word, Sirius couldn't help but wink. Van just threw her quill at his head like a knife and hit his forehead with dead accuracy. Sirius pulled it out of his skin and said, "Thanks, I'll keep this." And then he walked off.

By the time Sirius had reached the room of requirement, Remus and Peter had transformed it into a room with psychology books, bean bags, a couch, and a huge chalk board.

"What's with the blood?" Remus laughed, knowing full well how violent Van could be.

"Davis." Sirius replied curtly as he wiped blood off his brow, "but I got a free quill out of it." He put the quill down, walked over to the board, and wrote _James Potter_ drew a line vertically down the board and wrote _New Guy_. He turned to his friends, "Ok, what do we know about New Guy?"

"He's quiet." Peter pointed out. "He's a lot more reserved then James is."

"Good Pete," Sirius said as he wrote it out on the board, "Moony?"

Remus, however, was looking through a book and had been far too distracted to even pretend to pay attention to Sirius. When he noticed there was no noise in the room, he looked up and saw both of his friends looking at him. He couldn't help but voice his only thought, "I don't think that's the big question we should be tackling first. I think we should start with how much we know about his parents. Because, let's face it, we really don't know Charles and Nina Potter."

"I don't think they're what the problem is." Sirius pointed out, "I've lived at his place two summers and they're great people. Sure Charles was a little work oriented, but he was an Unspeakable. That's where their faults end unless you count the fact that Nina was the nicest person to graze this earth."

That somehow triggered an odd question in Remus' head, "Have either of you ever wondered if they were too perfect?"

"Too perfect?" Peter raised an eyebrow, "I don't think that's possible."

However, Sirius had begun to think that maybe Remus was right. To his knowledge, James hadn't got into a single argument with his parents over anything, nor did they fight with each other. It wasn't expected for the parents to fight, but for a kid and their parent to fight was like breathing.

"I mean, I've never heard one bad thing against them, nor have I seen anything about them that screamed out flaw." Remus pointed out, "The only flaw would be nothing. Like a perfect, suburban family."

But before the three had the chance to continue, the door opened up to reveal a very angry caretaker, Filch. He was new only a few years ago, and he was actually quite nice. But then he came across the Marauders and the nice man had done a complete one eighty and hated everyone except his cat, Mrs. Bradley.

James Potter woke up one random day to the sound of a whimpering of some sort. He looked at his bedside clock, and realized he couldn't even read it because it was too dark in his room. So, once he lit his wand, which was conveniently always under his pillow when he slept, he groaned when he realized it was only two a.m.

Forgetting what had woke him up in the first place and deciding he was hungry, James got up, threw on a sweatshirt, and proceeded to go into the common room where his backpack loaded with sweets. It was only when he spotted Lily Evans sitting there did he remember the sound of whimpering that woke him up.

Despite his instincts that were telling him she didn't want to be bothered, James sat next to her and asked, "Why are you up so early? Or late? Whichever term you prefer."

Lily let a small smile grace her lips before she answered, "I got a letter, my dad had a heart attack."

James felt a pit of regret in his stomach. Why'd he have to be such a jerk and invade her space? He just _had_ to go against his gut and talk to her. _Well,_ he thought to himself, _there's no turning back now._

"I'm so sorry, Evans, I know that can be tough." James admitted.

"What do you know?" Lily replied slightly ruthlessly. She wasn't in the mood to take sympathy from anyone, let alone James.

A dilemma was now going on in James' mind. He could lash out at her, scream until he went red in the face. Or, he could just leave. The first option tempted him. He could take out all the anger he had bottled up since that summer, but he knew that was a lot and that would be unfair.

"Much more then you'd think." James retorted and then left the room, completely forgetting that it was two in the morning and he was hungry.

James walked around the empty castle, not afraid anyone was going to catch him. The castle was perfectly silent, perfectly serene. Over the course of the summer, he had missed the calmness of the castle. He had missed how here, at night, once everyone else was asleep; there was no one to judge him, no one to tell him he wasn't good enough.

_The wind began to pick up as James walked down the street towards the newly built playground. His mother had told him that there were slides and swings and all other sorts of fun stuff. And since his sixth birthday was only a few weeks ago, he had his new football in hand._

_Once he reached the playground, it was completely deserted except for a small girl, though not much smaller then himself, waiting for him on top of the jungle gym. She was sitting up there in her white shorts and yellow shirt, swinging her legs absentmindedly and staring up into the sky._

_Without knowing it, James called out her name, but right when it left his lips, he forgot the name. However, the girl looked up and had a huge smile on her face. She quickly jumped down, ran over to him, and embraced him in a tight hug. _

_When she pulled away, she gave him a disapproving glare, "James, where'd that come from?"_

_James followed her gaze and saw she was looking at the bloodstain on his side. With a sheepish smile, he replied, "I, well, yeah." He blushed, "Don't worry about it, my mum fixed me up real nice."_

_The girl, who on closer inspection had her yellow ribbon in her hair, a scar on her forehead and freckles across her nose, lifted up his shirt to see there was a relatively deep cut on his side. She put his shirt back down angrily, grabbed his hand, and led him over to the swings. _

_As soon as James was sitting on the swing, she took off her rather large yellow shirt to reveal a white shirt underneath. The girl then used a nearby rock to help her tear her shirt into shreds. Once the shreds were placed over James' cut, she pulled the ribbon out of her hair and tied it around his stomach so the makeshift band aid would stay in place. "If your mother cleaned you up, there'd be no way she'd let you out with the bloody shirt on."_

_The six year old boy looked down at his feet, "Well, it was worth a shot."_

_She sat down in the swing next to him, "Why do you let him do that?"_

_James sighed, "Because he's-"_

A loud bell brought James out of his sleep. He automatically knew he wasn't in his room or in the common room. After a little time observing his surroundings he realized he was in a random corridor somewhere in the castle.

He looked around with a groan, he wanted to fall back asleep and return to his dream girl. There was this feeling inside his stomach that told him he had met her before. That she had been dear to his heart.

"Prongs?" The confused voice of Sirius Black brought James down to earth. The latter stood up as the first asked, "Where the hell have you been? We've been worried about you all night!"

"I've been here, Padfoot," James reassured his friend, "I went out for a walk this morning and I guess I fell asleep. What time is it?"

"I'm in the middle of Defense," Sirius informed his friend, "So you're beyond lucky it's your free period. And may I suggest you go get cleaned up, mate? You smell like the moldy Hogwarts floors."

"Thanks." James laughed before taking off to go clean up.

The Saturday of that very week was a Hogsmeade weekend and James had decided to get in and get out. He didn't want to spend that much time there, he just wanted to curl up in front of the fire and play with Cameron's silvery cat named Apollo. The cat seemed to be the only one he could voice his thoughts to and not be persecuted.

Another reason James didn't want to spend hours at Hogsmeade was to make sure Cameron didn't sneak out. For the passed two weeks the first year had complained how stupid the rules were and that she could outsmart any old fart.

So, as James trudged on through the most important stores to stock up on quills, parchment, ink, candy, and other necessities. And once he purchased his last items, he walked back to Hogwarts, laughing as he came upon the gate in which Cameron was attempting to curse.

"Hey Squirt!" James called out to her, "Squirt calm down!"

Cameron looked up from the bush in front of her that was currently caught on fire. "Hi James, what are you doing back? Shouldn't you be out there flaunting the power of going to Hogsmeade?"

James couldn't help but laugh at her some more, "Flaunting the power? Tell you what, one day this year I'll sneak you out to Hogsmeade. Then you can go when it's not completely packed. What do you say?"

"Deal!" She walked over to him and held out her pinky, "Pinky swear?"

"Pinky swear." He laughed and hooked pinkies with the eleven year old. "Now, I think we should put out the bush before you get into trouble."

Before James could help, the small girl used the _Aguamente _spell and the fire was immediately put out. She turned to James, "What now?"

"We go put my things up in my dorm and maybe if you're good I'll let you see the present I bought for you." James smirked, knowing this would get the eleven-year-old's attention. Cameron visibly perked up and then walked hand in hand with the Head Boy up to the Head dorms.

The school was in a calm that could only come during Hogsmeade weekends. First and second years were mostly sitting in their common rooms in the seats near the fires; seats that usually the older kids claimed as their own. Meanwhile, others were playing out on the fields, enjoying the freedom that came with no older kids waiting to hex them.

"So, why aren't you still in Hogsmeade?" Cameron asked again.

"I came back because there's not much to do there after four years of going there with everyone else. If you want to do anything fun you can't have other kids, especially younger ones, ratting you out and telling all the teachers." James replied with a look of mischief on his face.

Cameron looked at the seventh year in slight confusion. Everyone had said that Hogsmeade was the best thing to happen during the year. It was the only thing they looked forward to each and every month. But, she'd never been so who was she to judge?

Hating the lack of conversation, Cameron decided to talk to him about an issue she had heard the rest of the Marauders talking about one day, "James, what were you like last year?"

James looked down at the girl with a questionable look, "What do you mean?"

"Some people were talking and they said that you used to be different. They say you weren't as reserved as you are now, and I just wanted to know." Cameron replied.

For a few minutes as they walked, James thought about the question at hand. How much different was he acting compared to the year before? Sure he was more reserved and more mature, but was it such a drastic thing? And was it such a bad thing? He began to think he needed to get the burden of his life off of his chest but just wasn't sure how.

"James, I promise not to tell." Cameron looked up with pleading eyes, "Why are you so calm but everyone says you aren't like that?"

James sighed, "Life happened. I've mostly always been this way, but people wouldn't expect it. I mean, my parents always wanted me to be this popular jerk who was only interested in fun things like quidditch and girls and now that they're gone, why put in the effort?"

"Because you smiled?" Cameron suggested.

"Yeah, not really." James ran a hand through his hair, "So, you want to go throw around the quaffle?"

"Okay." Cameron smiled and then followed him out to the quidditch pitch. "You're so on."

Lily Evans had a horrid time in Hogsmeade. Her best friend, Lola, had set her up on a blind date and Lily couldn't stand this guy. He was mean and pompous and treated Lily like a piece of meat. The guy, Tyler Matheson, had kept her tucked under his arm the whole time and would glare at any guy who came in a ten foot radius.

The Head Girl shuddered as she thought about that creep's arm around her shoulders. That was the last time Lola ever set her up with anybody. That would be Vanessa's job and lucky for Lily, Van didn't believe in dating.

Speaking of Van, as Lily strolled up to the Entrance Hall, Van came to join her, "Hey Petals, how'd your lovely date with Tyler Matheson go?"

Lily glared at her friend who laughed in return. But then Lily sighed, "Besides, it's not like I need to find a husband right now! I'm only seventeen for goodness sake!"

"Ok," Van shrugged. Lily then saw someone come up in her peripheral vision, but didn't think much of it until Sirius Black came between her and her friend.

"Wow Davis, you look amazing today!" Sirius complimented.

"I know." Van smirked before grabbing his arm and flipping the arrogant boy over her shoulder. She then leaned over him and laughed, "Stay the bloody hell away from me." Once standing tall, Van turned to Lily, "Come on Petals, let's go party in your room."

"You know something?" Lily asked as the two headed up a stair case, "I'm definitely glad I'm not an enemy of yours. If I was, I'd probably be dead by now!"

Van just laughed, "Well, a girl has to keep safe in this world. Never know when a guy might try to feel you up."

"Too true," Lily shivered as she remembered Tyler, "Tyler, you know, the total jerk off who I was just on a date with kept trying to feel me up. It was so barbaric I almost kicked him in the nuts."

Van laughed. She had always gotten along with Lily much better than she got along with Lola mainly because Lola was a girl's girl, meanwhile Lily was more open to the idea of something more then boys, make up and clothes. The only thing Lola and Van cared about were clothes. Lola made sure she was always up on the latest fashions while Van made sure her clothes were clean. For the two of them, that was close enough.

When Van and Lily finally made it to the Head's dorm, Van walked in first and began to laugh. Lily quickly followed and began to laugh as well. Sprawled out on the couch with his mouth wide open, his leg hanging off, and his glasses shifted to the side was a sleeping James Potter.

"Lily, I know you're mature and all, but can I please, oh pretty please put his hand in warm water?" Van begged. She then got onto her knees and pleaded, "I promise I'll leave a note saying it was me and if he doesn't see it I'll fill him in on it in the morning. Please! With a cherry on top?"

Lily pretended to debate this, but then nodded with a laugh, "You can get the cup from the bathroom, it's right over there."

With an ecstatic squeal, Van ran into the bathroom and came back seconds later. But, she then froze when she saw James thrashing on the couch. "Lily, what's happening?"

However, Lily had not noticed James, so she looked at Van with a look of confusion. Lily then followed Van's gaze and backed away, "I don't know. But this happened before, back when we were on the train."

They sat and watched for a minute before James started muttering, "No, no, please!" The two girls looked between each other, and then back at the Head Boy, "Don't! I didn't do it Dad! I swear! Please don't hi-"

Suddenly, James fell off the couch and woke up, jumping to his feet. With wide eyes he looked at the girls. Van held up the glass, "I swear I was going to drink it and not put your hand in it!"


	4. Tomorrow?

Dear Cammi,

_Dear Cammi,_

_Hello darling! It's been such a long time since I've seen you it's far too unnatural. So, how's Hogwarts? Are you getting along with the other little girls? How are your classes? What mischief have you been getting into?_

_I still can't believe my little girl's all grown up. I want to talk a lot, but I haven't the slightest clue what to say so I guess I'll just end it here._

_Love Dad_

_PS – there's a box of sugar quills attached just for you._

Cameron blew one of her bangs out of her eyes. It was already November and this was the first she heard from either of her parents. She just threw the letter into her bag and looked up and down the Gryffindor table.

To her left was the Marauders minus James who tended to sleep in since he had a free period first thing in the morning and no loud roommates to wake him up. To her right was her three best friends in her year, Jason, Shiloh and Drew. They were almost like mini marauders without the fourth member.

And yet, she found herself sitting with a bunch of first year Gryffindor girls for a reason unknown to her. All she knew is that they asked her to sit with them and she couldn't say no.

"So Cameron, what's Jason like?" one of the girls whose name Cameron couldn't remember asked her with a small giggle.

"He's like Remus." Cameron replied awkwardly.

"What's that like?" A different girl asked with the same small giggle.

"Uh..." Cameron started.

"Squirt!" a loud call came from the large doors.

Cameron smiled as she got up, ditching the annoying giggling girls and running over to James to give him a big hug. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

James laughed down at her, "What did I do?"

"Saved me from the giggles!" Cameron admitted dramatically. "It was horrible James! You don't even know!"

"I can pretend to." James couldn't help but laugh again. This is what he had started to look forward to everyday. Just handing out with Cameron, doing nothing with her was better then pranking sometimes.

"Yo! Prongs! Over here!" Sirius cried out over all the talking.

James then led Cameron over to his friends and sat her down in the spot next to his which in turn was next to Sirius'. "Was there something you wanted?"

Sirius looked over at James and began to notice the difference between his friend, and the guy he labeled the New Guy since that meeting in the Room of Requirement, which now seemed so far away. James always seemed happy, New Guy always seemed depressed. But lately, New Guy seemed to become happier and happier.

"Was there something you wanted, Padfoot?" James asked before shoveling some scrambled eggs into his mouth.

"Yeah, I did actually. Where are we going for Christmas Vacation?" Sirius asked.

"I was thinking about staying," James replied, "I mean, it's not like we have a real place to go. Besides, it's our last Christmas as students here, so why not enjoy it here?"

Cameron smiled up from her sausages, "I like that idea because I'm staying, too."

"Aww, what about your parents?" James asked as he wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulders.

She shrugged and took another bite. After swallowing she said, "I wouldn't get to see them, they're always at work."

James sighed, "I know that feeling. Well, good then, we'll make this a Christmas you'll never forget."

"And that's what I was afraid of." Cameron joked, just narrowly dodging the roll that Sirius had threw at her.

Suddenly, a small shadow fell over Sirius, "Wow Black, throwing food at a first year, how smart."

That was Lily Evans' voice. Sirius glared up at her. He had noticed that ever since the beginning of the year she had taken an interest in studying their group as if the Marauders were some type of lab rat.

"Well Evans, she is my friend and I was making a friendly gesture." Sirius explained as if talking to a small child.

Lily gave him a quick glare before going passed the Marauders to reach Vanessa and Lola. She then began her long rant at how much of an idiot Sirius Black was. For years before this, these rants used to be focused on James, but Van was entertained to know that now they focused on James' friends and never on James.

"Students, may I have your attention, please?" Dumbledore stood at the front of the hall. "One of our professors had a minor accident in the classroom so there will be no Charms classes for the day. Now, you may go back to eating your breakfast."

"Yesssss!" Cameron threw a balled fist into the air. She despised charms for multiple reasons, one of the main ones being she had double charms, first thing in the morning every other day. She then turned to James, "Can we go play quidditch?"

"Yeah, but after my morning nap." James smiled. "So meet me in my common room around 9?"

"Deal." She smiled before running off to hang out with her first year friends.

"I like that kid, have I mentioned that before?" Sirius laughed his bark of a laugh. "She's got spunk."

"I like her, too." James informed his friend as he stood up. He then made his way down the great hall, giving Cameron a brotherly kiss atop her head as he passed her, and then he exited excited for the prospect of his morning nap.

Once he got up to his common room, James decided that his private room was too far away and that the couch in the common room would do quite nicely. So once he landed on the couch, he pulled his jacket over him like a blanket and fell into the same dream he had been having for the past month.

"_James, I don't get it." A small girl sighed as she sat down on a porch swing, "I mean, he's never there." _

_James sighed and joined her on the swing. "I don't really know. I don't get it either, but how would we know? This might be normal."_

"_True," She sighed with a confused look on her face, "I wouldn't know. But still, I don't think it is."_

_James looked at her, seeing if there was any way for him to change the subject. When he noticed the yellow ribbon in her hair, he smirked and pulled it out, standing up and bolting down the street. However, the girl didn't follow._

_Thinking the girl didn't know that James took her ribbon, James stood in front of her, "I got your ribbon!"_

"_I know." She said, "But you've tried to distract me before in the same way. I've figured out your plans so either come up with a new plan or talk."_

_James sighed and sat down next to her. "I'm sorry, I just don't like to talk about it."_

"_I wouldn't either." The girl replied as she leaned into him. "Maybe we could break you out of this place. You could come live with me and my uncle."_

"_Probably not. My mom wouldn't let me." James said, quite depressed and then looked over at the girl. She looked like she needed some sleep, "Are you okay? You look sleepy."_

"_It's nothing." She calmed James, "I just have been thinking about you. You don't deserve it James." _

"_Maybe I do." James pointed out._

_She sat up and glared at him. Her brown eyes were almost red with rage, "No you do not! You're a good kid, no one deserves that!" _

"_How do we know, we're only six!" James yelled back, standing up. "Besides, at least I have parents!" _

_The girl looked up at James who was about three inches taller then herself, "I'd rather have my life with absolutely no parents then your life with your parents!" She huffed and then ran down off of the Potter's porch._

_James hit his forehead against one of the pillars and then began to chase after her. Screaming her name._

James snapped to consciousness and fell off of the couch. Standing in front of him with a slightly fearful look on her face was Cameron. She had the same confused look that the girl from his dreams had when she was debating if the issue at hand was normal.

The seventh year couldn't help but ask, "Do you have a sister?"

Cameron shook her head, "I'm an only child."

"Then why do you look so much like her?" James demanded to know. Cameron was almost an older version of the dream girl.

"So much like who?" Cameron asked as she sat down on the couch next to James.

"The girl from my dreams." James sighed as he put his head in his hands and leaned back against the couch, "Your eyes and smile are the same and those goddamn ribbons."

"What's wrong with my ribbon?" Cameron glared as she ran her hand along the silky red material in her hair.

"Nothing, it's really nothing." James mumbled, "I just wish I knew who she was."

"Knew who who was?" Cameron demanded to know. She was having trouble putting all of the pieces together. James was just one messed up guy.

"But I think she knew," James sighed, ignoring the fact that Cameron was attempting to follow the rant that switched off from being spoken to just being thought. "I think she actually knew what he was doing. That would explain so much."

"Explain what who was doing?" Cameron asked in frustration.

"My-" He then looked up at her, "I'm sorry, I must sound like a total lunatic. Come on, let's go down to the pitch before I have to get a move on to Potions."

"Eww," Cameron scrunched up her nose, "I hate potions."

"We all do." James laughed as he took her hand and began to lead her downstairs.

"I'm telling you Van, there's something wrong with him this year!" Lily informed her friend as she paced her head dorm that night while James was out on patrol. She then turned towards her other friend, "And no Lola, I do not miss all the attention he used to give me. I'm just worried!"

"But why Lily?" Vanessa questioned, "Shouldn't you be happy if these nightmares have for some reason got him to leave you alone. I mean for three weeks you had a boyfriend and he didn't hex the boy once."

"Shouldn't both of you be worried, too?" Lily inquired, "I mean, Lola, you love to admire the boy from afar and now he's got bags under his eyes and looks paler then ever. And Van, you've even said he's lost his spunk at practices. Shouldn't you be worried for your captain?"

Van thought about this for a moment, but Lola was the first to talk, "He may look like he's had a lot of sleepless nights, but that just gives in to this mysterious side."

"Wow, one track mind." Van laughed. "And Lily, I do worry about him, but I worry enough at practices, I don't need to start worrying about him while just hanging out. Besides, I'm on your side, not his."

"And right now my side is concerned!" Lily pointed out. "I'm not exaggerating when I say it's every night. Every single night he starts murmuring at around one and at a few minutes passed two he wakes up in a cold sweat and yells something I don't understand."

Both Vanessa and Lola looked at Lily as if she was mental. The two girls looked between each other and let Van voice their thoughts, "Have you been sitting in his room watching him?"

Lily put on a repulsed face, "Ew! No I have not! It's just that every night he wakes me up at a few minutes passed two and a few times I stayed up to see what the hell was happening."

"Why don't you just ask him?" Lola suggested.

Lily's emerald eyes widened to almost twice their normal size, "And why the bloody hell would I do that?"

"You seem interested and we all know Lily Marie Evans never just stops researching something she's interested in because of a minor set back." Van pointed out.

Lily sat down on her bed and thought about Lola's suggestion. "You two should be heading back now. It's almost curfew and I've got some research to do."

James came back from quidditch practice in exhaustion. All he wanted to do was go up to his bed and snuggled under his thick blankets for he had already taken his shower so he didn't run the risk of being smelly.

However, once he entered the common room, he was stopped by a certain redhead, "James, can we talk?"

"James?" he asked in confusion. "You never call me James."

"Yes, but I thought that maybe I should be calling you by your first name for the time being since I want to ask you a relatively personal question." Lily said quickly as she played with her hands.

"Ask away," James sighed and sat down on the couch.

"What are your nightmares about?" Lily asked, "And don't deny you have them, I've heard you mumbling and screaming, and I'm worried?"

James looked up in shock, "You are worried about me?"

Lily couldn't help but let out a small laugh, "You and Van have the same confused face."

"Thanks?"

"Anyways, you never answered my question. I just want to help you."

James sighed, he knew he wouldn't be able to get out of this easily, "They're bad memories from my childhood I think."

"Like a repressed memory coming back to haunt you?" Lily asked intrigued. She had read psychology books and was always fascinated by the human mind.

"Yeah," James replied. "Was that all?"

Lily jumped to her feet, "Yes, thank you." And then she disappeared out of the portrait hole. She kept walking until she reached the library. As quickly as she could, she sped over to the Divination section, grabbed some books, checked them out, and then ran to the Head's Dorms.

"Cameron, right?" a voice asked the first year during breakfast.

Cameron looked up and her eyes went immediately innocent, "I didn't do it, I promise!"

Lily laughed and sat down next to her, "Don't worry, I'm not here to hurt you, I just need some help."

"I'm no good at magic, you might want to find someone else." Cameron turned back to her scrambled eggs.

"I need your help with James?" Cameron perked up, "You've probably noticed it too but he seems different and stuff. Anyways, I have maybe found a way to help him, but I need help myself. Would you?"

"Yes!" Cameron smiled as she jumped up, thankful today was a Saturday.

As if on cue, James walked into the Great Hall and froze when he saw Lily talking to Cameron. He hurried over to the two girls, "Lily, she didn't do it."

"Wow you two have a guilty conscious," Lily laughed. "But I'm glad to have gotten your attention."

"You are?" James' head was beginning to hurt.

"Yes, you remember that conversation last night?" Lily asked.

James looked warily at Cameron, "What about it?"

"We want to help you." Lily smiled, "I know this might be hard to believe, but I miss the James Potter from last year." Lily reddened, she hadn't admitted that to anyone but last year, he had deflated his head a lot, but still was the same James Potter. "With the dark lord rising, we need that playful prankster back. Or at least part of him, I really enjoy the fact that I don't have to do all the Head work."

James was shocked. Up until last night, he was pretty sure she hated his guts, "I'm fine Evans, I don't need your help."

"You're telling me you enjoy sitting on the sidelines as your friends prank someone? Or riding around half heartedly during quidditch practices? I'm just worried about you, and so are your friends." Lily pointed out, "Isn't it worth a shot?"

He looked up at her and froze. She seemed so passionate about helping him and, well, there was always that little part of him that did like her more then he could imagine. "One shot. Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow it is." Lily smiled and James' heart skipped a beat.


End file.
